What is this normal, what do I want this normal to be? This emptiness that may be the gap between reality and my perception. Should I find a way to ignore one or the other, I am not sure it matters which, would I then find the secret to happiness?
There should be more aspirational tales for the sideman, the beta, the supporting actor. It is a role that many can hope for, but when they have it do they want it or the top dog alpha role because that is what the myth says we should want. Myths schmyths.