May 24

May I? Wouldn't it be simply the most delightful idea to give answering the question may I in May. I will give it a go, I will do something new whenever I can, try something new (I imagine there will be a fair amount of food involved). Read something new, watch something new, oh there are so many things to try. I may not always find a new thing, but I will always be on the lookout for the new thing. Oh, what will the new thing be today?

As I allocate the server space to the unordered thoughts of the year I hope that, perhaps, some of the images might be an interesting diversion, some of the thoughts a little poetic, but, really, it would be best if the casual browser found something better to do with their time.

Collaging together images from the news, or... Well, May is the time for protest, may day is for the workers, for the changing of this distorted capitalist system of greed for a more ancient system of balance. When our tools were not so dominant, nature forced humans into a system of balance. For millennia it was the way, the only way, to replicate it surely we have the nous to look to the lessons of the long ago past.

May I? I contemplated at the ballot box, May I pick the winner this time, even if it is not someone I believe in? No, voting has to be about who you believe in, but ice-cream, you can experiment with ice-cream. The truth of the matter is peanut butter is not an ice cream flavour worth trying twice.

It was not something I had not done but it was something I had done very little. Anime. The story had a few interesting concepts, but the characters were not particularly rounded and the plot was predictable. Thing was, every now and again it turned to dramatically drawn stills which were amazing. Somewhere behind this was an artist wanting to break free.

I concentrated, stuck my tongue out the side of my mouth and worked hard at making a very messy crochet flower. But in the making I could see how the three different stitches made different shapes, and how the tension changes the look, forming those clever knots that encourage the eye to drift along the line. I love how this craft is used in art but it would take so much learning to put this in my art. I don't know if I have the energy to learn this now.

A nude male figure a pattern and other words, or... The words came from something that has gone wrong, but things haven't done that. Not in the same way anyway. Today is just a little awkward, always a little awkward. It is just how things go and it is not a thing that I can own. It is not ieven a thing in which I can put my best foot forward. Nothing to be done.

They practice, all day, all year, all the years since they were young they have been practicing, competing. Winning, although there was only one winner the runner ups pay cheque seemed a fair amount of winning, but as the commentator had said earlier, in a different context, it can't always be just about the money. Well done to them.

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May I try new paper, I haven't tried it yet but I have it. A plane notebook with rules lines to draw my Amorals, the lines are, obviously, for the lines and I have to decide if I am going to simply use ink on the paper to draw the pictures with the lines, of if I am going to use a white mask, maybe acrylic, to hide the lines, or if I am going to use the white mask as part of the picture I draw. This may take a few attempts to get it right. I wonder if I will need a second book.

Do they really want to retire to the seaside town? Or to the country where everybody knows your name because everybody is not many folk and the folk there are have nothing better to do than ask them how they are doing. How are you all doing today? He like chatting to the old biddies as long as he can do something while he is chatting. That is the good thing about working in a shop: do shit while talking to customers. He hates it when he has to show his full attention. I wonder why that is.

Images from the news collaged together, or... He thought about it, he thought about it most days. And like most days, once again he couldn't decide. Once again the idea of starting again was onerous, but there seemed to be no way of fixing the rut he was in. No way of getting the wheels of his life turning in ant other direction except along this dreary swamp. And to the left, to the right, all about him there were the people stuck in their euts, parallel ruts. Some of them happy, chipper, like they liked the rut, the certainty it gave them. Who would they vote for now?

Maya I? Indeed you should. I shall then, thank you. Oh boy was I glad that I did. The cake was so soft, luxuriously soft and the flavours so bold and complimentary. It was not a show cake. It was simpler cake full of flavour and left me desiring another slice. Sure, I was full but another slice would be so, so decadent in the best ways. I will try to find a recipe to see if I can make such a nice cake.

Well, that was an interesting day to make a first decision. Was it the day to listen to the strange selection of songs or was it the day to say all is not well in the world. All is not well in the world, and there are some disasters that are more of note than others. Some disasters where the media get behind a cause and others which are ignored. Is it for an effemeral reason such as televisual appeal, I wonder

A nude male figure with words, or... If I may, I think he is wondering about doing something differently, not so much stepping outside his comfort zone but rather trying something he may or may not have tried in the past, look at him, he has had a past. I think he is trying out being forthright. Trying out saying what he is feeling. And seeing if that gets a different result. Also trying out accepting the answer and not pushing for a change. Unless, of course, the answer is a lie, well then you need a credible plan.

Waiting and awaiting for the chance to meet the honey, or... Well, what can they say when she dressed for a more, well, exciting event but was asked to go there instead, there where the flies are. Only when she was there did she realise her lovely light summer dress would draw this leer from the flies, as the flies stared into the gape the low cut top formed when she bent to talk to the seated fly. But, she also realised, oh so quickly, that a flies leer is easily undone with a tidying hand.

Sketches from images from the news, or... Perhaps one is of a person saying my name, telling me where to go. Another is one of the group seated at desks waiting for the camera to start filming. Another the beautiful, muscular man mopping the floor, it is unusual for such a well defined man to be managing a mop. Another the young woman with the crisp white top and the car that would not start, but I did not offer help as it eventually started.

She said what she didn't like about the books was there was only nude women, no nude men. And I agree, I love looking at the nude form for so many reasons. For beauty, and capturing for a moment the line and pattern that is desired and appealing. For erotic, that sexual, base urge driving my rutting instincts. For intimacy, the act of sharing that which is usually hidden. For distraction, as simple as I am and sometimes the need for the distraction can be a sensible one. For inspiration, the hope of trying to be a better me. For amusement, particularly when I have not been a better me, it helps to lift my spirits. And I am going to try to put all of this into the Amoral.

It may not be new but, really, every conversation is new, even the conversations that are complaints that this conversation has happened before. Even the conversation about a story, a written story that has been read before, many many times, and discussed, many times. Today we read the story together, talking about our thoughts, going back, reading bits again, moving on. An hour of this and I was energised, chatty to the point of being a little silly.

A nude male figure with other words, or... Perhaps this is just a little disappointing moment. No,not the slop, though surely it would soon be filled with slop, though who is to say that this diversion is any better than slop. I may never be as popular as slop, though I have worked harder than the algorithm. Perhaps this is a moment of waiting for the passing of the spam, the emptying on the junk and the demise of the slop.

Unsettled, but isn't it interesting what constitutes the outsider. The person inside who does not feel like they naturally would be there. The sales person in the intellectual snob clique of booksellers. The migrant who arrived twenty years ago. The person who has been ousted but has nowhere to go. And is the outsider still a good thing, a thing to be cherished. Or are we back at that deathly cycle again

Inspired by images from the news, or... Perhaps they want it darker. It is such a difficult thing to do to tell a coherent story without being able to tell the difference between the characters. As if all the characters are clones, sometimes they are clones in their looks, sometimes they are clones in their actions. Sometimes they are clones in the confused memory they discard carelessly in the corner of one room or other in the fuck house. Have they always been in TFH?

May I class reading a really good book as a new experience? Sure, I have read many good books, and some really good books, a few crackers this year already. This isn't a note to divulge my favourite or favourites. This is a note to praise the effect on the soul of reading a good book, for me a good book is one I shall miss when I have finished reading it. And when it is finished I will be left with a memory, a memory of an understanding of a stranger I may never meet. Am I not a better person for having this little nugget of empathy grafted onto my personality? And if, perhaps, I can add a little into furthering another story, well, then I will be content.

There seems there needs to be another word for this state of drifting, this state of not striving for something, not trying to do something, not trying to get something done. Not the same as relaxing, calm and cheerful. Not the same as resting, because resting has an end, a dawn, a new fresh day and challenge. This is a long dark tea time.

Inspired by images from the news, and, well, there are those for whom life has at all times been tolerable botnformthe fact that the strongest emotion they have felt is the hate for themselves. The moments when they have said something foolish stick with them, thirty, forty years later. And how it is that every conversation has a moment in it which sticks a little, and the wrong thing is said but mostly the overall feeling is kept. But for those people perhaps they happiest outcome is not prince charming. There never was a fucking prince charming.

Cranes, like many birds, are beautiful dancers, and today, and tomorrow, like these cranes I am going to dance my life with the enthusiasm of the CRANES, and like the CRANES I shall not be elegant, I shall not be graceful, and usually I shall not even be in time but nonetheless i shall approach the moment with enthusiasm, that i will each conversation search for something interesting and uplifting amd bugger the weight.

Images from the news collaged together, movement, crisis, migration, hate and loss. I would like to be able to do something on my own household that I could extrapolate into society. Something maternal, something socialist, where everyone is encouraged to be the best the can be and the aim isn't to exploit.

Say something nice, clever, funny, or uplifting. This will be easy on a Monday when I volunteer as it is always easy to be kind when being kind. This will be no problem when working, as I enjoy selling books. The remaining days I must embrace the happy childlike nature that has been weighed down by failure, and memory of failing.

New wave of protests
Collaging together images from the news, or... Well, May is the time for protest, may day...

Ices
May I? I contemplated at the ballot box, May I pick the winner this time, even if it is...

Little rabbit
It was not something I had not done but it was something I had done very little. ...

Learning energy
I concentrated, stuck my tongue out the side of my mouth and worked hard at making a very...

Own this and fix it
A nude male figure a pattern and other words, or... The words came from something...

About the money
They practice, all day, all year, all the years since they were young they have been...

A new book
May I try new paper, I haven't tried it yet but I have it. A plane notebook...

Club votes
Images from the news collaged together, or... He thought about it, he thought about it...

Full attention
Do they really want to retire to the seaside town? Or to the country where...

Cake
Maya I? Indeed you should. I shall then, thank you. Oh boy was I glad that I did. The...

Televisual appeal
Well, that was an interesting day to make a first decision. Was it the day to...

These are the Flies
Waiting and awaiting for the chance to meet the honey, or... Well, what can they say when...