that momentary frustration

i don’t know if it is you or me in this territorial pissing

it happened again

that momentary frustration

that minor annoyance

and suddenly it starts again

i close my body

like a fist

holding onto the displeasure until it becomes anger

hot infuriated volatile tension

until i am rigid

turned to the wall

and you say

the territorial pissing chameleon that you are

was it this little thing that got you so angry

no

i say

i am just tired

you let this be but it is not true so i say

it is not the thing

the thing is nothing

it is just that i cannot respond

anything i say will be a big thing

too big for the thing

the truth is i have lost my voice

i have no voice

and you lay down

and you go to sleep

or maybe you just lay down waiting for my cruelty to be gone

and i lie

facing the wall

justifying and unjustifying myself

wanting to be acknowledged

knowing it does not matter

and i don’t know if it is you or me in this territorial pissing