Nice words
As I get older I am more troubled by not getting the sleep I wanted, even though the sleep I want is less than the sleep I hope for when I was you and a little wild. And the most often cause of my not getting the sleep I want is that restlessness of things not going my way. The thought that it will be a struggle, followed by a struggle. Sometimes the struggle is as simple as forcing myself to say a nice word instead of a silence. Perhaps that is what I should do. More nice words.
This time I have to be present and perform, this time, and then after I will think it was all on me, it was all my decision. Not a compromise, not something that flowed from a conversation we may have had about what might be best. I think it is best, and maybe you don't say anything because you are not sure you will be able to change things. And worried that trying to change things will make it worse. But I don't know. I don't know if this conversation is in my head or real.
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